So I was cleaning my room last night and found something mysterious under my bed. A small gnome village had sprung up. I was greeted as the loud annoying guy who slept on the top of the world.

Naturally I was somewhat surprised to find the gnomes under my bed. Gnomes are more commonly found living among the flora of a small flowering patch of land. All things considered though under my bed is in many ways a small flowering patch of carpet.

Now I should have grown savy to this a bit earlier on, what with the sounds of pick axes and what not, but I have been rather busy so I didn’t have time to investigate until last night. Turns out the gnomes live off of the morsels that fall to the ground during my mid-night snacking.


They harvest their liquid supply from the glass I keep by my bed at night incase I get thirsty and have planted a surprisingly high-yielding corn crop (I don’t know where they got the seeds).

The gnomes seem harmless enough and rather jolly as far as roommates go. That is until I asked what they were mining out of the floorboards. They got really upset and told me it was none of my business and I had better leave them alone if I know what is good for me.

Now I am a normally peaceable person, but when a 6-inch creature living under my bed and not helping with the rent gets all up in my grill, I tend to get a bit feisty myself. So I went to the garage and returned wielding the shop-vac.

I haven’t decided what to do with the gnomes yet but I am leaning towards taking them out into the country and releasing them.