Resenting Money

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I work 40 hours a week, every week and there is no chance of that ending any time soon. I do this because in order to live, eat, have shelter and do a myriad of other things, I need money. It is a necessity born of… I don’t even know because I wasn’t around.

If I had been around when people started to move towards money I would have freaked out.

“It’s a trap! Don’t do it! You will make us all Slaves!” I would have shouted in an impressively desperate voice. But I doubt it would have made a difference.

Do you know it costs more than a penny to make a penny? I don’t know if it’s true but it sounds like it could be and its nuts!

Slavery will never be dead because money has made slaves of us all. Think about it. You don’t enjoy what you do but you cannot do what you enjoy because there is no money in it. So you can either starve or do something you truly resent.

But the reach of this slavery even extends further. Think about Donald Trump. He has more money than he could spend in a lifetime, but is it enough? I guess if you asked him he would say it’s never enough in a triumphant voice.

That makes me entirely depressed. It’s never enough! Then why am I even trying? Oh yeah, that’s right. Because I have to try or my family goes hungry. I cannot just grow my own food because I would need land and that cost money. Then there are the seeds and tools to till and cultivate the land and plant my crop.

Then you have to think about cooking. What is your fuel source going to be and where are you going to get it from.

Now I am not saying I don’t like my job. It just isn’t what I love to do. I do what I do because I cannot make a living doing what I want to do yet. Maybe someday I will and hopefully I will be able to keep my eyes on the prize and find that level where I can finally tell money, “Enough!”

Something isn't adding up...

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There are far to few Fridays and a veritable surplus of Mondays. What the heck is up with that?

House in Detroit Sells for $1

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This is a real article. Here is the link incase you thought I was making it up.

In what might be considered a new low for the housing market, a home in Detroit sold for $1.
The home, located at 8111 Traverse Street, close to the Detroit City Airport, was foreclosed upon last summer, after it was purchased for $65,000 in 2006, according to an article in The Detroit News.
The bank was so eager to sell the foreclosed property, it lowered the price to $1 in a final attempt to find a buyer. According to the newspaper, 14 days after the property was listed for $1, a local woman purchased the house as “an investment property." The property taxes will run the new owner $3,900, in 2009.
At the time of sale, the home had been stripped of its siding, fence, light fixtures, copper plumbing—even the kitchen sink had been taken. Boards that were used to board up the windows were also stolen and used to board up a house down the street, according to The Detroit News.

I think the new owner should go down the street and steal her boards back.

Conversation with a Chair at Work

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Me: I am bored. How about you?
Chair: …
Me: I hear you. So what is it like being a chair?
Chair: …
Me: That boring, huh? Have you ever dreamed of being something different?
Chair: …
Me: Never?
Chair: …
Me: Wow, I total dream about being something or someone different all the time. Right now I am think about what it would have been like to be Doctor Mudd, the infamous doctor who fixed John Wilkes Booth’s broken leg after he assassinated Lincoln. He probably felt pretty bad.
Chair: …
Me: I am with you. I don’t think we will ever know.
Chair: …
Me: Do you like it when people sit on you?
Chair: …
Me: Both yes and no, I will wager. Yes because it gives you a purpose for existing and no because of the whole sweaty butt thing.
Chair: …
Me: Not into butts, huh? I guess everybody has to go their own way on that one. How long have you been here?
Chair: …
Me: So long you cannot even remember. I feel that way some days and I haven’t been here all that long.
Chair: …
Me: Do you remember when I first started working here? What did you think of me?
Chair: …
Me: Not one to jump to conclusions? I hear that. Too many people jump to conclusions and then end up looking stupid. What do you think of me now?
Chair: …
Me: Yeah, I think that we get along alright. Not much really to say.
Chair: …
Me: Hey, somebody’s coming. Talk to you later bro.
Chair: …
Chair: I am not your bro.

JVT Show

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The good news is that I now know that I can shave lighting bolts into my facial hair.

The bad news is that I cannot go out in public anymore.

Just watch.

Would Like:

A Cheeseburger stand. I am open to what beverages they might serve but they better have hot and fresh cheeseburgers.

John Cleese. He is funny and British. My current phone has neither.

A nacho dispenser with pre-cheesed chips. I think all of have been on the phone listing to some one drone on about their flakey skin when we wished that we were eating delicious nachos. I know that I have been there.

An airbag style pillow, great for conversations with people who carry on the conversation without you but gets angry when you hang up.

A segway. I trip when I walk while talking on my cell phone.

Would Not Like:

A cat. Annoying allergen excretion machine… no thanks! The person on the other end of the phone thinks they are better than you already. No need to have something on this end that agrees.

A caramel ooze. It sounds good but think about what that would do to either your pocket or you purse.

Sean Penn and Tim Robbins. I like their acting but they would hijack the conversation to talk about children dying in Africa or some such total buzz-kill. If you can make a reasonable argument in a short amount of time and in the appropriate venue, fine. But lets face it. I am trying to fend off people dying here (I.E. Me and my wife). I am sorry but Africa has to wait for my donation.

A bear. Don’t let the meandering fuzzy hugger at the zoo fool you, these are Kodiak Killing Machines. If you got one of those close to you head it would be pretty hard for the bear not to have a taste.

Fran Dresher. If you hold her close to your head she causes cancer. That is what I heard anyway.


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There is no satisfaction in these things
Which I have been so taught to lust and purse.
They leave my heart wanting, panting for something
Lasting beyond the grasp of a moment.
An eternal supplication of and for my own being.
See my selfishness perverse the moment
Leaving little but man, this ill-fated glutton
Thirsting for hope founded not in dust,
Lost not to time nor changed with the turn of an emotion.
The thought of contentness is foreign and poison to me.
Tempt me not with this prize, so lofty and vaporous
That it might not falter when I reach to seize it.
A vapor of a promise forgotten with the tempting of another
Where do you dwell, gift without end?
From whence do you birth?
Do you seek as I seek you? To know that would be…

Understanding the US Postal Service

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There are so many options available for shipping with the United States Postal Service. I often find myself wondering which would best suit my needs. Here I will list a deeper explanation of what each class means so you will be able to make a decision that better suits your needs.

Express Mail: Overnight delivery to limited locations, sometimes, depending on the weather, travel conditions, the price of tea in China, employee motivation, and the spread of West Nile Virus.

Priority Mail: Getting your mail delivered is a priority. It’s just below mid-afternoon nap and getting in all of the required 15 minute breaks, but it is a priority.

First-Class Mail: This is the first class above not getting your mail delivered. New motto for this is “When it absolutely, positively has to get there eventually.”

Parcel Post: Parcel Post with less than partial care. If it gets there great, but if it doesn’t… well, what did you expect for what you paid?

Media Mail: We will alert the media if anyone actually uses this system. We alert the media because that is about all we are willing to do for what you are paying.

Library Mail: Everything you are sending will end up at the Library. The person you are writing to may come there and check it out but only for a week at a time.

Bound Printed Matter: When nothing else aside from cheapness maters this is the method for you. It won’t get to where you are sending it but you can say that you mailed it.

Now you know enough about the postal system to send mail. Get out there an enjoy the letter sending process.



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