As you may have heard, many politicians and hippie groups are launching an all out attack on trans fats, claiming that they are the major cause of heart problems and schizophrenia in America.
Naturally, I am concerned being as that I too have plans on contracting schizophrenia. Yet I can’t help scoffing at the idea that hippies are ever right about anything. That is why I conducted this in-depth 13-second research on trans fats on the Internet, the source of light and hope in the dark world.
It turns out that Trans Fats, per my medical diagram to the right, are box shaped and carry a bow and arrow. These fats just walk around waiting for you to put your heart up on an easel to dry and then they shoot it. So the solution is simple. Don’t put you heart out on an easel unless you are going to watch it and make sure that no trans fats shoot at it with a bow and arrow.
Now that was simple. We don’t need legislation to protect our hearts. As long as people don’t leave their hearts unattended, on easels, for any fats to shoot arrows at them we will be all right. Knowledge is FUNdamental.