It is a little known fact that the Santa Claus and his 8 tiny reindeer actually stemmed from an age-old story from Eastern Africa. So, in the spirit of the season and full disclosure, here is the tale.

Now it happened that in the days of Caesar, an elderly man in the wilds of Mozambique’s beard grew to be quite long and white. The old man had been a warrior in his younger years and his clothing had become stained red by the blood of the foes he had vanquished.

Since there was little food in the land the man began to trade small trinkets, which he had taken off of the men, women and children that he had killed, for meat and rice. The man would horde his food inside a cave that he lived in and would never allow anyone to set foot inside the cave, except his wife. Now the old man’s wife had been senile since the day they had met but the man married her because she couldn’t speak with any clarity and there for could not tell anyone what possessions they had or where they lived.

The couple never had any children because the woman was barren. That above all other things made the man happy because he didn’t want to feed any more mouths. Yet, he longed to have a son that he could train to be a fierce warrior like he was.

So the man spent his time in his cave collecting food and looking at the many things that he had stolen as the years passed by. Eventually the man became angry that he didn’t have anything to do and he decided that he no longer cared for the company of his wife.

Early one morning the old man cut down a tree that was mostly hollow. He cut it down until it made a small sled that he could ride in. Next the man set out to catch and train 8 Ibex to pull his sled. He let his wife name them and they were called Desher, Dasnin, Pramkin, Vexorit, Coquet, Quilped, Domber, and Bloosen. The old man then would load the sled full of presents and drive North into Tanzania. In the middle of the night he would abduct small children and leave a trinket as payment for the lost child.

Every year he would make his trip North and abduct more children whom he would take to the north cave on his land. There the old man would train them as warriors. They would make various weapons and hunt for their own food. This made the old men very happy. The people of Tanzania told their children if they were good that the Old Man and his Ibex would come and take them away to a happy place. Mostly they just wanted the trinket to sell for food.