Looking back.


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Well it’s the end of the year once again and so I like to take a moment to look at the past year. That way I have good cause to bash my head against a brick wall until I pass out. So lets take a few moments to reminisce about this past year. When someone asks you what is up you can respond with, “Well, lets see… Murder, rape, kidnapping, stealing, arson… the list goes on and on.” Some people would say that this is kind of a pessimistic attitude. Unfortunately they cannot argue with validity of that statement. The real question is how did we get this way? I think that I may have found the reason: Hippies. You remember those peace loving, pot-smoking morons who spent all of their time staring at a blank wall and laughing as though George Carlin was doing his stand up act for them. The people who hated war so much that they held massive protest orgies at the nations capital. The same group who had tassels on everything they wore and never showered. Those un-employable, unshaven hippies now run our country. They come up with cleaver sayings and repeat them over and over again because they have killed most of their short-term memory via smoke inhalation. The congress, comprised of hippies and old guys who have died at least 3 times from old age and been resuscitated, voted that we go to war and then later blamed the president for it. THEY ALL VOTED ON IT! Now I know that they say the President supplied bad information. Okay, you had the same information he had. I honestly think they all forgot they voted on it. Or maybe the wording made them all think it wasn’t a war and they got confused. Honestly, its hard to say what they were thinking. So what is the solution to our problem? Oh wise Ted Was Here blogger tell us the answers we all so desperately need to hear! No. I am not going to just give you the answers to the problems. You have to figure them out for yourself… Okay are you thinking… You have all just simultaneously turned on your televisions. You suck. All right here is the solution. Stop electing morons to office. I know what you are going to say to that, you hippies; we didn’t elect Bush, we elected Gore. Honestly. Is there any chance you could stop whining for a bit about that? It was 8 years ago! Anyway, electing Gore to office would have been the equivalent to electing a coat rack, except the coat rack would have been more exciting. That man could boar a hippie to death. Yet, somehow, you guys got really, really excited about him. Here are a couple of ideas for getting ourselves back to a place where things are a bit better. Teach our children morals and stop making prison more inviting than a Motel 6. Maybe then people would actually not want to do the time.


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