You might be thinking that listing off New Years Resolutions are too cliché to Ted Was Here, but you didn’t consider the fact that often times I don’t have anything to write about, so I just start writing whatever dribble I can conjure. So here it goes.

New Years Resolutions 2007:

1.) Write in my book every day.
2.) Kill my fatted calf. (He has lived for too long)
3.) Eat a vegetarian meal and fake my death at the summation.
4.) Have sex with my wife.
5.) Eat a completely frozen burrito.
6.) Tattoo my likeness on my back.
7.) Shave at least once.
8.) Eat a Dominoes pizza and enjoy it.
9.) Figure out who exactly let the dogs out and put an end to the speculation.
10.) Get married.
11.) Find Nemo.
12.) Kill the Cat in the Hat and burn any likeness of him.
13.) Eat pretzels without drinking anything.
14.) Become a ruthless dictator of my bathroom.
15.) Cure cancer.
16.) Fly a kite.
17.) Get my book published.
18.) Find the killer of O.J. Simpson’s wife and let O.J. take a break from looking.
19.) Make it rain in the desert.
20.) Make it rain in my dessert.
21.) Occupy France.
22.) Engage in a land war in Asia during the winter.
23.) Feed at least 2 starving children.

These are some of my New Years Resolutions. It’s going to be a busy year!

What are some of your resolutions for the next year?