A Place on the Couch

There’s a place on the couch where he liked to sit
With a smile spread from ear to ear
And talk about trucks, his boy, and John Deere

There’s a place on the couch where he’d bounce his young boy
They would laugh, he’d be silly, his heart filled with joy

There’s a place on the couch where he liked to relax
Kick up his feet watch a movie or two
Catch a sponge bob or watch the game
Spend the afternoon through

There’s a place on the couch where he liked to lay
And have a cool drink on a hot summer’s day.

There’s a place on the couch where he drew his last breath
Not really there as he drifted toward death.

And there’s a place on the couch where his boy sits alone
Forced to try and figure out what it is he did wrong

Because there’s a place on the couch where his dad used to be
And it’s cold and it bare, a too vivid memory…

Of who should still be there


I hope that the loss of Dusty will awaken those who could have easily been in his place.

Success had avoided the Wainsworth family as a whole for many generations. Bertram’s company had continued on as he had left it with no real direction or purpose that is until Clark had been born. He had that spark of ingenuity and drive that had eluded his forefathers save Bertram. It had been assumed that one day Clark would take over the paper company.

The company had remained in paper with no deviation from the simple plan to turn trees into paper and sell the paper. They had diversified the paper portfolio over the generations but the company had never dealt with the advent of the internet.

The big “going paperless” movement had hurt business. With more information being pushed to the World Wide Web, the paper industry had tanked. Wainsworth Paper had only stayed afloat by Bert’s decision to completely automate the production. A lot of people lost their jobs but it would have been more than triple as much if they had to close down. It was a tough decision but it breathed some life back into the old business.

But the automation project was small scale from what he envisioned for his family’s company. “The world is going paperless, why can’t a paper company go paperless with it?” He asked in a board meeting. “What’s a paper company without paper?” His uncle Carl had asked scoffing at the young upstart. Clark was used to people not getting his ideas. “That is what we need to figure out!” He had passion, intellect and a touch of daring, which was what his family’s company needed more than ever.

Clark’s uncle enjoyed his nephew’s vigor and enthusiasm but believe that he lacked discipline and experience. That limited Clark’s abilities from harming him before he was ready to take the reigns of the company. Carl wanted his nephew to succeed and made sure that his eagerness wasn’t given a chance to turn on the young man.

Some of the older Wainsworth factories had been sitting empty for a couple of years now and Clark had gained board approval to re-appropriate a few to a pet project of his. “A solution to the question” he told his uncle who was glad that Clark wasn’t demanding immediate overhauling of the entire company as he had in years past.

It hadn’t been more than a couple months since the beginning of his project that Clark returned to extol the virtues of his newest project. “We are a paper company in a paperless world. I asked a few months ago why we couldn’t accomidate this new climate. Well, I think that not only can we accomidate it we can grow stronger than ever.

My team has taken 6 of the old warehouses and transformed them into state of the art data warehouses with the highest level of security for today’s demanding paperless world. This new section of Wainsworth Solutions is already posting profits that rivaled the days of Bertram Wainsworth himself. With a combined paper and paperless solutions approach we can meet the needs of any customer.”

Clark sat down with a smile stretching across his face. He had done it. While this board had sat ideally by he had made a move that would push his family’s company into the 21st century and back into the height of industry. Wainsworth Solutions, as he now called it, would be a force to be reckoned with.

Clark’s phone ran.

“Hey dad, what’s up?”

“It’s your cousin James. He died this morning.”

“Really? How?”

“Got electrocuted at work. His boss said it was a very freak accident, not even sure how it happened.”

“What a horrible tragedy for Uncle Carl’s family.” Clark remarked seating himself on a nearby chair. “What is he going to do?”

“I suspect your uncle will retire. It is no secret that he has been considering it for some time now. With the loss of his son I think he will consider it time to move along. The company will be yours.”

“Stop with that dad. Now is hardly the time to talk about such matters. I was more referring to the arrangements.”

“I understand but there is one more issue that I need to bring up. The old house, the estate in the valley, the house of two pillars.” There was a brief pause as if Clark’s father was waiting for a confirmation that his son recognized what he was referencing. “It will be yours now. You are the youngest.”

“Dad, I don’t want to talk about the house.”

“You must promise me that you will not under any circumstances move into the house.”

“Really father, this is quite inappropriate.”

“You must promise.”

The phone call dropped and Clark dismissed his father’s reference to the house as grief related and did not give it another moments consideration.

“I am hated by people I have never met because they assume that I hate them, but they have never met me, never talked to me, never asked me my opinion… they just assume I hate them. I don’t make my decisions or choose my beliefs because I think they are the easy ones, the ones that most people will agree with or even the ones that will be received as the most well thought out. I do what I believe is right and it is hard. I struggle with the making sense of it all.

So why am I hated? Because I believe in God? I look at the wonderful and breathtaking world around me and I cannot conceive of it without God. I have tried the path of science but they offer thin answers that are predicated on blind belief whereas when I look at the world about me I see God evident in everything.

Am I hated because you think I disapprove of who you are or what you do? I don’t approve of who I am or what I do. Do you really think I have time to judge you? I am trying to love you because my God commands that I love. It can be hard and I most certainly fail but I try. If we were to truly measure ourselves I am certain I would hold any wrong I did lower than anything you could have done. I feel my shortcomings in the morning. I remember them in daylight and they accompany my thoughts as I dream. My sins are evident to me in all things. Can you forgive me for all I have done that is wrong? I have to deal with me first. Can’t I just work on loving and work on me?

Do you hate me because you think me unwise? I know that there are men smarter than I will ever be, but I cannot simply take them at their word. They are men and men are fallible. I have a need to know for myself. Just because I want to know or disagree doesn’t mean that I don’t think they are smart. It simply means I disagree. Isn’t it alright if we just disagree?

Or is it because the gap has widened and you have come to hate the gap? Humanity seems more divided than ever. Our hatred of one another is no longer held on our shirtsleeves but bottled up and spewed as rhetoric and division. We cannot listen to the others ideas and strive for a world we can all be happy in. Instead we point fingers and call names in hopes of a fight.

You can hate me. There is nothing I can do about it. But you cannot make me hate you. And maybe, with the aid of my God, I can learn to love you.”