DD is funny. So funny in fact that he accidently made people think Carrot Top was funny just by standing beside him at a party. Carrot Top is not funny.

DD sometimes dresses as Spike Lee and goes to the Knicks games when Spike is unable to attend.

DD Once sold a dollar bill for $325.00 at auction.

DD owns a majority share of the word awesome. Whenever someone uses it commercially he gets paid.

Newton’s often overlooked 4th Law of Motion is that DD cannot fight Chuck Norris because their opposing forces would splinter time itself.

DD is a lover not a fighter, but sometimes he loves to fight.

Last night DD made a cameo in your dreams.

DD spends hours at a time trying to make sense of The Twilight Series. He came close once.

Barack Obama did his best DD impersonation during the presidential campaign. That is how he won.

DD’s humor is so dry he secretes a Chardonnay that sells for 85 dollars a bottle.

Women who stand too close to DD will get a killer tan in about 15 minutes.

DD snuck into your house and moved your keys last week. He is still laughing about that one.

DD doesn’t believe in vampires and werewolves. He eliminated the last of them years ago.



*Note: All DD facts are verified by a dedicated panel of fictional characters and should in no way be challenged or disputed.

Also, David Duchovny would like for you to watch his hit Showtime series Californication. Do it.