Unbeknownst to most voters, in the last presidential elections in the United States Jesus Christ lost in a landslide. Our Lord and Savior ran on the third party ballot and only won the electoral votes for Mississippi. When the Reverend Jessie Jackson was asked for a comment on this he was quoted as saying “Jesus was running for President and He lost. It’s no wonder that the African Americans of this country are so persecuted. I will go to Washington and fight for a recount on the behalf of the city of New Orleans.” Experts say that while the Son of God’s stances were neither Republican nor Democrat that an election would have been more likely if He had run under one of the major parties. During the campaign Christ wouldn’t engage in slander campaigns but rather insinuated that a day of judgment was coming for all those who have sinned. Voting poles showed that people considered The Lamb Of God as to hard line on his stances and people didn’t feel as though He had the clout to make a difference on Capital Hill. Jill Wheeler of Cleveland, Ohio said she “would have voted for him if he wasn’t so judgmental of (her) life choices.” During the campaign the major parties used beloved animated characters to dissuade people from voting for the Savior. People were encouraged to “throw away your vote” but beloved Simpson’s alien characters. “My mom always told me that God would love me no matter what I did.” Quipped James Franklin of a New York correctional institution “Jesus doesn’t seem anything like what my mom said and she went to church like four times a year.” The voters seem to resonate this as they said they needed a candidate who would form to what they wanted from their government representation. “He wouldn’t budge on any of the issues. It’s like (Christ) thought He was right on everything and whatever He said was law,” said White House source. “People won’t respond to that sort of thing. People want to feel like they are right.” Strom Thurman, when asked if a third party would every become president, stated “It would take a miracle.”