In the world we live in people of size are looked down upon as the squishy heal of society. No one talks about the benefits that fat people have over the thin. So here at Ted Was Here we are going to finally take an objective look at the fat vs. thin controversy.

The upsides to being fat are as follows.

- You don’t get hurt when you fall down.
- People, especially salesmen, avoid you because of the inherent odor.
- You fill out whatever outfit you want to wear.
- You cannot drown because you float in water.
- Larger people don’t participate in sporting activities that are dangerous to their health.
- Obesity is now no longer your fault and is considered a disability.
- Your belt can be used as repelling device in case of emergency.
- In a pinch your shirt can be turned into a tent to give you shelter.
- You will live ten or fifteen days longer than your skinny counter part if you get stranded on a desert island.
- People like big butts. They cannot lie.

These are the things that people consider good about being thin.

- You will live until you are old enough to wear diapers again.
- Your joints will never get bad so when you are old you won’t get the good parking spots.
- Your bones will break under the pressure of a strong wind.
- The phrase we went out for dinner and dessert will never come out of your mouth.
- Your refrigerator is plagued with leftovers.
- If a fly lands on your shoulder you will need massive reconstructive surgery.

After fairly evaluating the two sides of the controversy it is clear that fat people rule and if you don’t agree we will sit on you and kill you.