Feline mascots in professional sports are worse than the Madden curse. There, I said it. Everyone has been thinking it for years but no one has mustered up the courage to say it. Here, take a look at the track record. The Jacksonville Jaguars, the Detroit Lions, The Detroit Tigers, The Cincinnati Bengals, The Browns (okay so I don’t really know what a “Brown” is but they suck so I will just count them); all of them are crap and have been for years (Kevin, shut up. I know the Tigers are doing well but they have been bad for a really long time and I don’t want to let the truth get in the way of my point.) So I will take the time to suggest replacement names for them based on some random thought.

The Jacksonville Jaguars: how about the Jacksonville 5? Not a bad start.

The Detroit Lions: The Detroit Cam Shafts. The Pistons went with the car theme and its working for them.

The Detroit Tigers: The Detroit Treads. See above argument.

The Cincinnati Bengals: The Cincinnati Gargoyles. There is a vast lack of mythological creatures for mascots. That needs to change.

The Cleveland Browns: Good God, anything else would be better than the Browns. How about the Cleveland Milosevic or the Cleveland UN Peacekeepers? Really, anything would be an improvement.

There you have it. I expect to see changes made within the week.