Why is it exactly that our world has all the stability of a new Microsoft release? Kevin would probably tell you that it has something to do with too few people experiencing the overwhelming joy of being saved by zero. He might be right. After all, he was right about June 26th. I think we were all pretty shocked.

I have my own opinions, none of which are funny. Here are some opinions that no one has expressed.

~ Too many movies about outer space. People are spending all their mental energy on preparing for the eventual move to space and have spent no time on our own planet.

~ Global warming. People have blamed lots of stuff on Global warming but I think I might be the first to blame the crumbling world economy on it.

~ Dick Cheney… Oh, no wait everything has already been blamed on him.

~ Carrot Top. Did anyone else notice that when his comedy specials stopped so did the housing market… like 8 years later. On a side note, why does he spend so much time building his biceps and so much time on making his face look like a woman’s but no time on anything that could be mistaken as an act?

~ The last two brain cells in Gallagher brain collided and sent him into a tail spin of pure insane ecstasy. Did the watermelon get a restraining order on this man or did he just collapse under the raw power of the humor void created by his own act.

~ Reality TV. Now I know that TV has been taking much of the brunt of our social ills for about 10 years now but Reality TV takes the lowest level of life, which is clearly absorbing more than contributing and zips it into our home. For what reason you might ask? Keeping these idiots from ruining the work the rest of us are doing. Could you imagine the setbacks our economy would have suffered if the cast of any of these TV shows played an actual role in society? If we had more reality TV shows we could clean up these human waste lands from the streets.

~ Britney Spears. Why is it that the craziest of what our celebrities have to offer get the most coverage. How about a little less time with Gary “I will rip out your endocrine system” Busey and a little more time with Gary “I support our troops and common sense” Sinise.