The War on Obesity


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What do American’s fear more than global terrorism? The answer is fat people. We fear them so much that we actually monitor how many fries they can buy at McDonalds.

Every week your local news papers, periodicals, and stations run warning adds about that alarming increase in obesity in America. They claim it is targeting our children and our elderly and driving up the price in healthcare, the number 3 fear for most Americans.


Take for instance this lady. She was simply walking down the street minding her own business when somebody had to snap a picture of her for a story about the atrocities of saturated fats and trans fats.

She probably knows that she is over weight. In fact, she may be walking for that particular reason. Does she really deserve to open the paper and realize that the gigantic picture on the front page is of her posterior?

Clearly, she does because she is fat. If American’s could get away with it they would put them in camps like we did with German-American’s during World War II.

Although there is no cure in site for people who eat a lot and don’t work out enough (or have a medical reason for being overweight) scientists are optimistic that with enough government control and ridicule from the masses, that fat people will be eventually extinct. Just knowing that makes me sleep better at night.


2 Responses to “The War on Obesity”

  1. Anonymous Anonymous 

    This really is because, deep down, thin people fear that we fatties will eat them. This of course is hilariously assinine. I mean, thin people don't have enough meat on their bones to make it worthwhile.

  2. Blogger Ryan 

    this post makes me scared that Ted is taking pictures of me... a fat dude with a flat butt, so my are pants saggy, and then posting them on some other blog.

    Right now I am crying on the inside, but eating a taco on the outside. And I will tell you right now, Tacos taste better than tears.

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