Native American Mascots


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I, as a great many of you, grew up with such mascots as the Fighting Sioux or The Braves or The Heathen Blood Spewing Savages. Great Mascots, I know. But more and more these epic names are being disputed as inflammatory towards Native American’s. I don’t know what they are talking about. I don’t know any team with a mascot called the Native American.

Soon the Florida Seminoles, the mighty team of the nineties, will be relegated to being nothing more than the Florida Disinterested Quadrupeds. The Washington Redskins will be known as the Mighty Flock of Dung Beetles that hail from our nations capitals. The Packers will remain the Packers but Brett Favre will be known as the Gentle Giant Ant Eater of the midway.

None of us want to see things go this way, but we are all powerless to help. Why? Because a group of people, who are technically not even US citizens, living on the land we stole from them don’t want us using their names. Well they cannot stop us from using the Mohicans because the last one of them died in a movie in 1992! The Fighting Mohicans of Minnesota… I like it!

Will the Native American's have all the cool mascot names? Will Harvard's mascot be a cartoon version of Vikings lineman Matt Burke? Yes, but its going to be okay because the Norse don't care about the honor of their heritage.


3 Responses to “Native American Mascots”

  1. Blogger Roger 

    I like the "Heathen Blood Spewing Savages." It made me laugh.

  2. Blogger Sarah 

    Soon we'll have names like "the Georgetown Junkies" and the "Atlanta Alchies".

    You'd think the Native Americans would want the free publicity and intimidation surrounding the names.

  3. Blogger Ted 

    Sarah you make an interesting point.

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