It’s that time of the year when the scent of pundit fills the air and a young mans fancy turns to thoughts of Conventioning. The swarms of ravenous crowds, giving standing ovations to orators that share their viewpoints. Red, White and Blue smeared across everyone and everything with hap hazardous contempt. Various appearances by outspoken and under informed celebrities. Yes, my friends, this is a glorious time.

Here are a couple of things to look forward to during this Conventioning season.

1.) Hillary Clinton will perform a hostile take over of Barack Obama’s campaign declaring herself his campaign chair and wearing a Jackie Kennedy style pink dress suit.
2.) Milton Bradley will be releasing it’s National Convention Board Game, complete with obnoxious applause simulator.
3.) John McCain will unveil his new robotic body that is younger and more hip than Barack Obama could ever be!
4.) Reverend Jeremiah Wright will release his new book entitled “A Pulpit and a Prejudice”. It will sell millions.
5.) JFK will rise from the grave to run on the Green Party Ticket with his VP being Paul Wellstone.
6.) The one hour Oprah Winfrey show will have a daily 2 hour special on Barack Obama during every show.
7.) Kentucky will succeed from the Union and then rejoin without anyone knowing.
8.) Thousands of reporters will descend on the two cities where the conventions are to be help with thousands of politicians in toe but Pharaoh will still not free the Israelites.
9.) The metropolises of Denver and the Twin Cities will hit an all time high in commute time and suicide rates.
10.) Gasoline prices will soar and consumption will plummet.
11.) Carrot Top will mysteriously appear and perform a completely humorless set on an HBO special.
12.) Michael Moore will announce his new movie “Why I am Right and Everyone Else is Wrong.” It will gross somewhere around 20 billion dollars despite no one having seen it.

So get out there and enjoy this years Conventioning Season. It promises to be entertaining to the max.