There is something wrong with that one...
Published Wednesday, March 21, 2007 by Ted | E-mail this post
They are...
A 3.5-inch drive, but data on punch cards.
A couple of blocks behind the parade.
A few clowns short of a circus.
A few planets short of a federation
A hemorrhoid on the face of the world.
A mental midget with the IQ of a fencepost.
A natural talent for finding subliminal messages in ice cubes.
A statue in a world of pigeons.
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
As popular as a French kiss at a family reunion.
As useful as a football bat.
As useful as a kickstand on a horse.
As useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.
As welcome as a priest at a cub scout jamboree.
Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
Born ugly, and built to last.
Both oars in the water, but on the same side of the boat.
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
Coverage 90%; signal strength 10%.
Doesn't have a fart's prayer in a hurricane.
Doesn't have his belt through all the loops.
Easier to count the bricks left than the bricks missing.
Goalie for the dart/javelin team.
Has a divide-by-zero look on his face.
Has her headquarters where her hindquarters should be.
Has the keen awareness of an ostrich in hiding.
Has the mental agility of a soap dish.
Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
Hasn't got all his china in the cupboard.
His mind is a few Hertz off its assigned frequency.
His reaction time is longer than his attention span.
His train tracks aren't quite parallel.
In the pinball game of life, his flippers were a little farther apart than most.
Long on drywall, short on studs.
Might look like he's doing nothing, but at the cellular level he's really quite busy.
Nice color but not enough wattage.
No coins in the old fountain.
Not wired to code.
One dilithium crystal short of warp power.
Outlet isn't grounded.
When he collects his thoughts, they fit in a very small container.
Whizzes on his shoes and thinks it's raining.
You can hardly tell that he's a simulation.
A 3.5-inch drive, but data on punch cards.
A couple of blocks behind the parade.
A few clowns short of a circus.
A few planets short of a federation
A hemorrhoid on the face of the world.
A mental midget with the IQ of a fencepost.
A natural talent for finding subliminal messages in ice cubes.
A statue in a world of pigeons.
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
As popular as a French kiss at a family reunion.
As useful as a football bat.
As useful as a kickstand on a horse.
As useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.
As welcome as a priest at a cub scout jamboree.
Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
Born ugly, and built to last.
Both oars in the water, but on the same side of the boat.
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
Coverage 90%; signal strength 10%.
Doesn't have a fart's prayer in a hurricane.
Doesn't have his belt through all the loops.
Easier to count the bricks left than the bricks missing.
Goalie for the dart/javelin team.
Has a divide-by-zero look on his face.
Has her headquarters where her hindquarters should be.
Has the keen awareness of an ostrich in hiding.
Has the mental agility of a soap dish.
Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
Hasn't got all his china in the cupboard.
His mind is a few Hertz off its assigned frequency.
His reaction time is longer than his attention span.
His train tracks aren't quite parallel.
In the pinball game of life, his flippers were a little farther apart than most.
Long on drywall, short on studs.
Might look like he's doing nothing, but at the cellular level he's really quite busy.
Nice color but not enough wattage.
No coins in the old fountain.
Not wired to code.
One dilithium crystal short of warp power.
Outlet isn't grounded.
When he collects his thoughts, they fit in a very small container.
Whizzes on his shoes and thinks it's raining.
You can hardly tell that he's a simulation.
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