I have an unexplained fear of Bob the Builder. I am not sure why but I think he was created to destroy me.

Oh sure, he looks innocent but why else would a person have some many “smart” weapons unless he intended to hurt me. He smiles and sells his cheap merchandise to all the kids but I know it is just a ploy to get to me. He is waiting for the day when the credit card receipt is to a Mr. Ted.

Then he will start to stalk me, tracking my behavioral patterns. And after he has become comfortable with my every move he will strike. Then the show will go off the air and Bob will no longer be a builder but an assistant at a lower level auto parts shop.

He will spend most of his free time in therapy because after killing me he will have no purpose in life. He “living” tools will be locked in a chest and tossed into the Hudson River in an attempt to get the voices out of his head, but it will not work.

Children everywhere will wonder what happened to their precious Bob the Builder. I, however, will be forgot and written off as myth and pure legend within 3 weeks of my untimely death.

So next time you see good ol’ Bob make sure you accost him severely.