Disturbing roommate conversation: Part II
Published Thursday, August 30, 2007 by Ted | E-mail this post
My friend Kevin posted a conversation he had with Leroy. I decided to post the conversation I had with him right after he talked with Kevin.
Leroy: (Appearing at my front door). I need you to watch Kevin for a couple of days.
Ted: Why?
Leroy: He has Krista.
Ted: Why does Kevin have Krista?
Leroy: He kidnapped her.
Ted: Care to explain.
Leroy: He left me a message at work saying that he had Krista and would not let her go until I killed Mickey Mouse.
Ted: Did he say why he wanted you to kill Mickey Mouse?
Leroy: He said that the counsel told him that Mickey is a threat to national security.
Ted: The counsel?
Leroy: Yeah. An original action figure of Luke Skywalker, a batman action figure, a Shrek pillow and a half eaten twinkie. Kevin and I consult with them before we make any decision.
Ted: That is down right strange.
Leroy: I was really happy when they approved Krista.
Ted: I bet you were. Why don’t you just hop over Kevin’s fence and get Krista Back.
Leroy: I tried but the fence was too tall. I scuffed my knee up.
Ted: Yeah, that looks painful. Do you want a Band-Aid?
Leroy: No thanks; I already urinated on it, so it should be fine.
Ted: Okay.
Leroy: I am glad I didn’t make it over the fence though because I know Kevin has a league of mutant gargoyle ninjas.
Ted: Have you slept at all this month?
Leroy: I haven’t had time. So can you keep an eye on Kevin for me?
Ted: Okay… what am I supposed to be watching for?
Leroy: Just make sure he doesn’t torture Krista and make her tell him the secret family recipe for Bushes Baked Beans.
Ted: Krista knows the secret to the Bushes Baked Beans recipe?
Leroy: Don’t be stupid, only Jay Bush and his dog Duke know that.
Ted: Then how would she tell Kevin the secret?
Leroy: Krista is telekinetic with animals. She could totally channel that dog.
Ted: Does Krista know that she can do this?
Leroy: I am not sure. Listen, thanks for taking care of this for me. I will be back a week from Thursday.
Ted: It’s going to take that long to assassinate Mickey Mouse?
Leroy: No. I should have that done in a couple of days but I am taking some much-needed R&R while I am down there. I booked a week at a resort and spa.
Krista: Wouldn’t you want to take Krista with you for that?
Leroy: Well, I would but Kevin has her. Okay see you in a week.
Leroy: (Appearing at my front door). I need you to watch Kevin for a couple of days.
Ted: Why?
Leroy: He has Krista.
Ted: Why does Kevin have Krista?
Leroy: He kidnapped her.
Ted: Care to explain.
Leroy: He left me a message at work saying that he had Krista and would not let her go until I killed Mickey Mouse.
Ted: Did he say why he wanted you to kill Mickey Mouse?
Leroy: He said that the counsel told him that Mickey is a threat to national security.
Ted: The counsel?
Leroy: Yeah. An original action figure of Luke Skywalker, a batman action figure, a Shrek pillow and a half eaten twinkie. Kevin and I consult with them before we make any decision.
Ted: That is down right strange.
Leroy: I was really happy when they approved Krista.
Ted: I bet you were. Why don’t you just hop over Kevin’s fence and get Krista Back.
Leroy: I tried but the fence was too tall. I scuffed my knee up.
Ted: Yeah, that looks painful. Do you want a Band-Aid?
Leroy: No thanks; I already urinated on it, so it should be fine.
Ted: Okay.
Leroy: I am glad I didn’t make it over the fence though because I know Kevin has a league of mutant gargoyle ninjas.
Ted: Have you slept at all this month?
Leroy: I haven’t had time. So can you keep an eye on Kevin for me?
Ted: Okay… what am I supposed to be watching for?
Leroy: Just make sure he doesn’t torture Krista and make her tell him the secret family recipe for Bushes Baked Beans.
Ted: Krista knows the secret to the Bushes Baked Beans recipe?
Leroy: Don’t be stupid, only Jay Bush and his dog Duke know that.
Ted: Then how would she tell Kevin the secret?
Leroy: Krista is telekinetic with animals. She could totally channel that dog.
Ted: Does Krista know that she can do this?
Leroy: I am not sure. Listen, thanks for taking care of this for me. I will be back a week from Thursday.
Ted: It’s going to take that long to assassinate Mickey Mouse?
Leroy: No. I should have that done in a couple of days but I am taking some much-needed R&R while I am down there. I booked a week at a resort and spa.
Krista: Wouldn’t you want to take Krista with you for that?
Leroy: Well, I would but Kevin has her. Okay see you in a week.
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Status Report: I missed my flight, due to being distracted by something shiny. I will proceed south on foot at a light jog. Naturally, I assume this will only delay me 3 hours and 18 minutes.