I have spent a majority of the day starring at my computer screen, wondering what would be the best way to blow $35,000 if I actually had it. The major problem is that I am so pragmatic I always want to pay off all my debt with the imaginary cash. I am never creative enough.
So today I set upon finding a way to spend the money on complete nonsense.
The list follows:
- Buy 35 $1000 cars
- Buy an entire section of a stadium for a major sporting event so I don’t have to sit next to people who sweat at the mere mention of a crowd.
- Fly over to Africa, first class, and give a motivational speech to the continent in a language I make up on the way over. Then buy up all of their national treasures and tell them I will give them back when they shape up.
- Adopt two children. Name one Richie Rich and the other Ihate Mybrother.
- Urinate in public… repeatedly.
- Buy Antarctica, the whole continent. $35,000 ought to be enough.
- Move to Sweden and commute to work everyday.
- Buy the women I work with shirts that cover their breasts. One for each day of the week.
- Eat Capt’n Crunch and have the subsequent dental work done.
- Find Tom Cruise and slap some sense into him. (the money would be used to cover the year I would have to take off of work to slap sense into him)
- Go to war with Cuba.
- Eat a Fogo de Choa for a month straight and then have liposuction.
- Buy a rhino and take it for walks on a lease.
- Get the best season tickets to every major sporting event and send homeless people. The rich people would hate it. It would be awesome.
- Pay for another Waynes Brothers’ movie.
- Buy up the world’s supply of Tabasco sauce and parade it past Mexican Restaurants.
- Go on a date with Christiana Aguilera and then dump her when she asks how much money I have.
- Spend it all on Pogo sticks and donate them to a hospital’s children’s ward.
- Go to the Oscars and boo repeatedly.
What would you blow $35,000 on?
So today I set upon finding a way to spend the money on complete nonsense.
The list follows:
- Buy 35 $1000 cars
- Buy an entire section of a stadium for a major sporting event so I don’t have to sit next to people who sweat at the mere mention of a crowd.
- Fly over to Africa, first class, and give a motivational speech to the continent in a language I make up on the way over. Then buy up all of their national treasures and tell them I will give them back when they shape up.
- Adopt two children. Name one Richie Rich and the other Ihate Mybrother.
- Urinate in public… repeatedly.
- Buy Antarctica, the whole continent. $35,000 ought to be enough.
- Move to Sweden and commute to work everyday.
- Buy the women I work with shirts that cover their breasts. One for each day of the week.
- Eat Capt’n Crunch and have the subsequent dental work done.
- Find Tom Cruise and slap some sense into him. (the money would be used to cover the year I would have to take off of work to slap sense into him)
- Go to war with Cuba.
- Eat a Fogo de Choa for a month straight and then have liposuction.
- Buy a rhino and take it for walks on a lease.
- Get the best season tickets to every major sporting event and send homeless people. The rich people would hate it. It would be awesome.
- Pay for another Waynes Brothers’ movie.
- Buy up the world’s supply of Tabasco sauce and parade it past Mexican Restaurants.
- Go on a date with Christiana Aguilera and then dump her when she asks how much money I have.
- Spend it all on Pogo sticks and donate them to a hospital’s children’s ward.
- Go to the Oscars and boo repeatedly.
What would you blow $35,000 on?
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Where can you lease a rhino these days?
I'd pay James Earl Jones to read my entire library to me in my sleep.
Who do you pay if you were to buy a continent? No one owns Antarctica. You could just move there and pay for soldiers to defend your border.