An open letter to my publicist
Published Thursday, September 13, 2007 by Ted | E-mail this post
Dear…
Um, well you see, that is my point. I have no idea who you are so how am I supposed to send you things that I wish to have published. I am sitting on like twenty or so partially written books that you should be hounding me to finish and telling me that they will change the world or something. But instead of making us both rich beyond our respective nephew’s wildest dreams, here were are both working and not even realizing that the other exists.
Now as the creative and insanely talented one of the pair, I blame the sluggishness of my career on you and your inability to find me, as of yet. What are you doing over there? Editing some Angela Lansbury wanna be when you could be pimping my talents to the world via the printed word?
Do you see my freaking frustration here? I am over here working my tail off and you are not even bothering to open a discourse with me and pursue what is in my best interest and in your best financial interest. I swear, if you don’t get your act together I am going to have to find new representation.
Okay, I didn’t mean that. You have always been great. But seriously, call me.
His Awesomeness
Ted
The Computer
Sorry, Ted, I have been busy with my other clients, such as Brad Pitt.
Brad Pitt sucks. But he is prettier than I am.