I get a weird sense of satisfaction from paying my bills. Its as though I am looking right at the world and yelling “Hah! I can take you!” Naturally I cannot take the world. I seem to have a difficult time holding my own against a rubber band and 3 toothpicks (long story). But I still seem to feel almost on top of the world. I am making enough to pay my debts off and still afford to eat and pay for gas. Periodically I throw in something nice for my special gal like dinner or something and I am just buzzing through life, smiling and singing religious Christmas carols. Its as thought my joy comes from being able to survive despite the odds. That no matter what life throws at me, I actually think that Ican make it. That just makes me wonder. Does this mean that I have found contentedness in the normal, mundane life that I live? I always wanted to do something more with my life. Will I settle for paying bills to make me happy? I doubt it. I am pretty demanding, but it is nice to know that I can be happy where I am at without needing to do anything world-altering. So if you could just mail these bills for me and then hand me my notebook full of possible cancer cures, I will get back to washing the dishes. Oh yeah and you’d better watch out. You’d better not cry. You’d better not shout, I’m telling…