If a person goes on-line into a portal, referred to as the Internet, they can find what is called a website. Apparently this blog is one such “site”. But I don’t want to talk about my website today. Today I would like to talk with you about the build-a-bear site.
I know what you are going to say. “But Ted, how can a bear dressed up in tiny women’s lingerie be even remotely enjoyable.” Well, unless you are a very sick individual or a woman, it cannot. That is why I am proposing a few updates to the sight to increase profit and drive website optimization.
Firstly, the bears need to be robotic. If I want a black bear that can be my servant/mechanic and also teach me Russian, I would think this should be a service they would offer. How many people would by a mechanic bear, you might ask? How many people own cars? Okay well 15 more than that.
Also there should be some weaponry accessories. Right now you can pick from shoes and hats and all other kinds of unnecessary items. What I want is the dilemma of wither or not to pick the shoulder mounted rocket launcher or the backpack missile launch platform.
And instead of clothing how about some body armor. Get a nice Kevlar vest to help the bears against enemy fire. Perhaps even a hat with a two-way communicator so they could call back to base for further orders.
Lastly, I think they should be sold in Platoons or at the very least companies. Unless you get an assassin bear, in which case one to two should be enough.
Naturally these bears would be for entertainment purposes only, but if the guy up north can have an AK-47 just to say he owns one, why shouldn’t I be able to have a small bear army?
I know what you are going to say. “But Ted, how can a bear dressed up in tiny women’s lingerie be even remotely enjoyable.” Well, unless you are a very sick individual or a woman, it cannot. That is why I am proposing a few updates to the sight to increase profit and drive website optimization.
Firstly, the bears need to be robotic. If I want a black bear that can be my servant/mechanic and also teach me Russian, I would think this should be a service they would offer. How many people would by a mechanic bear, you might ask? How many people own cars? Okay well 15 more than that.
Also there should be some weaponry accessories. Right now you can pick from shoes and hats and all other kinds of unnecessary items. What I want is the dilemma of wither or not to pick the shoulder mounted rocket launcher or the backpack missile launch platform.
And instead of clothing how about some body armor. Get a nice Kevlar vest to help the bears against enemy fire. Perhaps even a hat with a two-way communicator so they could call back to base for further orders.
Lastly, I think they should be sold in Platoons or at the very least companies. Unless you get an assassin bear, in which case one to two should be enough.
Naturally these bears would be for entertainment purposes only, but if the guy up north can have an AK-47 just to say he owns one, why shouldn’t I be able to have a small bear army?
1 Responses to “Build-a-Bear.”
Leave a Reply
Friendlies
RecommendTED
Looky Here
Previous posts
Archives
- November 2005
- December 2005
- January 2006
- February 2006
- March 2006
- April 2006
- May 2006
- June 2006
- July 2006
- August 2006
- September 2006
- October 2006
- November 2006
- December 2006
- January 2007
- February 2007
- March 2007
- April 2007
- May 2007
- June 2007
- July 2007
- August 2007
- September 2007
- October 2007
- November 2007
- December 2007
- January 2008
- February 2008
- March 2008
- April 2008
- May 2008
- June 2008
- July 2008
- August 2008
- September 2008
- October 2008
- November 2008
- December 2008
- January 2009
- February 2009
- March 2009
- April 2009
- May 2009
- June 2009
- July 2009
- August 2009
- September 2009
- October 2009
- December 2009
- January 2010
- February 2010
- April 2010
- May 2010
- June 2010
- July 2010
- September 2010
- February 2011
- March 2011
- June 2011
- July 2011
- January 2012
- February 2012
- April 2012
This bear is a constitutional right under the "pursuit of happiness."